Fighting the War
by day-or-knight
Summary: War. They say it changes a man. Jay Halstead is a walking testimony to the quote. When Jay experiences a traumatic event can he recover? - This story is AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey y'all! (Sorry I am a lil' southern..:) This is my second FanFic and I have been contemplating on whether or not to post this, but I decided I would and I hope y'all enjoy! I have a few chapters pre-written already, but due to college finals happening over the next two weeks I can only work on the story so much (and I have a slight case of writers block). So I will be posting updates once a week!**

**This story is my opinion and my view if things, if you do not agree I am sorry!:) If you like it please review! It makes my day!**

**And lastly, unfortunately I do not own Chicago PD nor any of the characters..**

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Smoke filling his lungs. Blood and sweat running down his face. Muscles burning.

'Run' is all he could think, through all the fog in his brain. 'Run and don't stop' and that's what he did.

Gunfire blasting behind him, bullets and shrapnel flying by him, he thought he couldn't run any faster. _'30 pounds of equipment make it hard to run'_.

Not sure where he was running to, he just guessed towards a direction.

'Retreat!' Jay heard someone yell in his earpiece.

There were detonations and explosions happening behind him, people screaming, and yelling all around him. Home. '_I gotta make it home'_. Was all he could think.

Twenty-Four year old Jay Halstead had been here, fighting this war for a while now, having served three tours. He joined the army right after his nineteenth birthday, finding it as a way to run from his dysfunctional family. His father was a former emergency room surgeon, he used to look up to him and wanted to be like him someday, but that was before he was charged and arrested with the murder of Jays mother, from that day forward, Jay knew what he want to do with his life, he wanted to bring justice for other families that had no closure; but, that changed one day in high school when he met a recruiting officer.

_It was almost the end of his senior year of high school in the suburbs of Chicago, and all Jay Halstead wanted to do was walk across the stage and get his diploma. One day while heading back to class after lunch, a table at the end of the hallway grabbed his attention. A man, in his mid-twenties, in camouflage was standing behind the table gradually talking to a group of kids, answering the generic questions that people ask soldiers._

_Jay thought he would just keep his head down, but out of the corner of his eye, he seen this poster titled "The Soldiers Creed" which had a list of things of what it means to be a soldier, an American soldier. By this time the group of kids had walked off, and the man noticed Jay, that there was something about him._

_"The Soldiers Creed huh?" said the man._

_"Huh? Oh. Yeah." Jay said, as the man had caught him off guard._

_"What field are you looking into as a career?"_

_"I want to become a cop."_

_"You seem like you have your mind made up… well in case you did not know the United States Army has an elite team called Special Forces, where they deal with everything from search-and-rescue to counter-terrorism to profiling and hostage rescue. Pretty much we are like S.W.A.T, except bigger and better." The man said proudly, who Jay seen last name said Dawson._

_"Umm. Thanks, I will think about it."_

_"Listen, I don't normally do this but, there is something about you that I can see, that we could use, academy takes a year, then you have to practically try-out for forces, but I do not think you would have a problem, all in all you would be gone for around five years, then on active leave for three years, then you are free… anyways, here is my card" Dawson said reaching into his pocket "Feel free to call me if you have any questions, that is my cell on the back."_

_"Thanks, I will think about it… By the way my name is Jay." He generously took the card shook the mans hand and continued to class._

_After weeks of long thought and conversation with Will, his year younger brother, the newly graduated Jay had decided that he wanted change._

_"Dawson." Antonio answered sternly._

_"Umm. Hi, this is Jay Halstead, you were at my school a couple of weeks ago and gave me your card? I decided that I want change, I want to become a Soldier." Jay said nervously._

_"Yeah? Ok. Jay, meet me at the recruiting office near Beadford Park around 3."_

_Three hours later, Jay pulled his car up to the curb, and threw it in park, he was second guessing himself, but he went with his gut. He stepped out of the car, and walked across the street into the brick building._

_That day Jay temporarily signed his life away. It was almost his nineteenth birthday before he ever heard back from anyone, though him and Antonio had grown close. The day that he was sent to the academy was the day, his brother will signed up too, only Will wanted to become a surgeon. After the academy, he was recruited and tried out for Special Forces. And he made it. This elite group of men had become like brothers to him, especially Michael Ramirez, who reminded him of Will._

As Jay was running, adrenalin pumping through his aching body and veins, he stumbled upon a camouflaged figure lying in the street, he got close enough to make out the details of the incapacitated man in the street.

'MICHAEL!' Jay screamed. Running towards the mangled remains Jays emotions started to get the best of him, his best friend and fellow comrade was lying on the ground, bleeding out from the abdomen. Jay fell to the man's side and began applying pressure, he found it hard to comprehend what was happening.

'Michael.. Michael man it's going to be ok. It's going to be ok. Help is on the way, you can't leave that beautiful wife and those kids.'

Tears began streaming down his face, he screamed into his handheld radio. 'This is Jay, I need a Medic to my position forthwith!' Ignoring his own injuries, he pulled the dead weight of his friend to the side of the street under an awning, for a little more safety and cover.

'Michael, stay with me bud, we've only got one more week until we get to go home. Think about that. When we get home I am buying you all the beer you can drink.' Digging into his backpack and getting his first aid kit out he opened all the gauze he had and applied it to the abdominal wound. Jay, noticing the gauze was not going to hold the copious amounts of scarlet colored blood, took off his shirt and held out hope that it would hold.

"Halstead, when you see Melissa" Michael said spitting blood "tell her she was the best thing to happen to me. Tell Katie and Ashton.. I love them.. Tell them to behave for their mother.. And Jay.."

"NO! I am NOT going to lose you!" "Jay.. Go home and settle down, you have served your country well. Jay you are my her.." "Michael? Michael. NO! No.." Jay said sobbing into the soldiers' blood stained camouflage.

Just seconds later, Jay felt a hand come running up behind him out of breath "Jay. Jay? Halstead. He's. He's gone. Let him go. C'mon." The man had to pry Jay away from his deceased friend. 'Will, is that you?' Jay said attempting to gain his composure back, blinking through the tears he turned around and looked up towards the Medic. "Yeah man. After you took that suicide bomber out we had people come out of every corner, and somehow there was a second trigger which caused it to still go off, causing all this chaos. I am just glad you are ok bro." Will said patting his brother on the back. Jay started to stand to his feet to assist in moving Michaels corpse back to base when suddenly, weak at the knees and feeling pain all over his abdomen, Jay fell over to his world spinning and going black.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey Y'all! Glad you liked the first chapter and thank you SO much for the reviews (and keep them coming:), it made my week of college finals SO much better! **

**Here is Chapter 2. It is short, but the next chapter is pretty long. So stick with me! Ignore the random address, I made it up. There is a time jump, but it will work itself out; I hope.. I still am struggling with my writers block :P BUT I hope to overcome it soon!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own ChicagoPD nor any of the Characters as that right belongs that the incredible Dick Wolf.**

**Mini-Rant: How about that Crossover last week?! I knew they were killing Nadia off but WOW! I only wish we had a little more Linstead... Oh and Congratulations to ChicagoMed on becoming a series! Whoop! Welcome to the Chicago Family! **

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***PRESENT DAY***

'Jay? Jay! Come on Halstead wake up.' He heard a familiar female voice talking to him.

'Wh.. What.. What's going on?' Jay said groggily, not sure of his surroundings. 'Er...Erin? Is that you?'

'Yes, Jay I am right here.' Erin said sternly. 'I NEED A BUS AT THE CORNER OF 54th and Braxton NOW. 10-13 SHOTS FIRED. OFFICER DOWN.' Erin said screaming into her phone. 'Jeezes Erin tone… tone it down a little.' Jay beginning to feel his injuries, had felt like he had been hit by a bus. 'Oh shiit. It hurts!'

'I know, help is on the way…'

"What… happened Erin?"

"I… Let's not focus on that right now. Tell me what hurts?" Erin asked knowing she needs to keep him awake.

"Well uhh… for starters my head.. everything is spi..spinning, and doubled. There is an elephant sit.. sitting on my chest, and like a bullet… went through my abdomen.." Jay said clenching his teeth and trying to breathe through the pain.

Jay could not currently remember what had happened, he just knew that right now he wanted some morphine or Tylenol, anything, to take away the pain, which was quickly taking over him. Thinking he could get up, he was quickly mistaken and pushed back to the ground. "Don't. Move." Erin said holding him to the ground with all her force.

"Erin I am fine. Just put me in the car, give me some pain meds and take me to my apartment and I will live another day." "Jay Halstead, I know you think you are fine, but you know dam well you are not. So you better lay your butt back down until an Ambo gets here." He knew that things must look worse than they feel, he had never seen her this upset and concerned, and he did not want to make the situation worse.

"Ok Erin Lindsay, you are the 'boss'" he said jokingly, as he started to laugh the pain got worse and he knew it would not be much longer until he lost consciousness. Hearing sirens he hoped his medical attention was getting closer. Grimacing at the pain, he started to black out again.

"Jay. Jay! No! Stay awake." Erin said gently shaking him, slapping his face. "You have to stay awake you hear me? Listen to me?" Right then he could have sworn this was all a dream but much to his astonishment, Detective Erin Lindsey his partner and Best Friend of three years kissed him on the lips, tears streaming down her face. Erin was a block of steel, he had only seen her cry a few times since they had been on the job together, each time he was there to comfort her, be her shoulder to cry on, be someone to yell at, every time she got to close with a victim or a case.

She slowly removed her lips from his.

"Hey.. Hey don't cry.. I might be dying.. I might not.. But.. remember we still have not had our one day.." Jay said smiling as he placed his bloody hand up to her face, thumbing away her tears.

_'I must be on my death bed_.' He thought. They had always had this romantical banter where they would play and joke around and he always wished it was more but he knew it would never happen, that was until today.

"Oh, Defiantly. And that is why you need to stay. I need you. As my partner, as my back-up, as my best friend, as my—" Smiling, Jay softly whispered as he interrupted her "You have no idea how many times I have dreamed of this, how long I have been waiting for this mome-" Suddenly, without warning, he started convulsing uncontrollably and returned to the darkness.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey y'all! Glad you liked Chapter 2! To Clarify, m****ost things written do NOT line up with the current story line of the show. Also thank you for all the Reviews/Faves/Follows! **

**Please excuse any grammatical errors, as I am human, everyone makes mistakes. ****Also, I do have some medical background knowledge but not a lot, so medically it might not be correct.**

**Sidenote: I am a little nervous about the Fire Finale tonight! I have my suspicions as to whom is going to die, but anywho... **

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own ChicagoPD nor any of its characters as that right belongs to the incredible Dick Wolf.**

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**Erins POV**

Erin moved Jay onto his side keeping him stationary, waiting for the seizing to stop, knowing that there was nothing else she could do but wait for the ambulance to arrive. Erin had not heard the team come flying in on two wheels, she wondered how long they had been there, and failing to regain control of her emotions she just sat there, feeling helpless.

"ERIN! JAY!?" she heard Voight scream as he and Antonio ran towards her. Antonio quickly took Erins place next to Jay as she ran to Voight, while the rest of the Intelligence Unit secured the scene.

"Voight? I.. I don't know what happened one minute.. and then the next minute.." she said drying up her tears as Voight checked his pseudo daughter for any injuries before pulling her into a hug. "Hey, It's alright we will figure this out."

As the ambulance arrived, Jay had finally stopped seizing, they quickly assessed the scene and began to treat an unconscious Jay, they stabilized him, administered oxygen, bandaged his hemorrhaging wounds and carefully placed him on a backboard to load him onto the stretcher into the ambulance.

Erin headed toward the ambulance she looked to Voight "I am going with them to the hospital."

"I wouldn't have it any other way." Voight stated, helping her into the vehicle. Antonio hoped into the passenger seat of the med unit and they were given an escort to the hospital by Burgess and Roman with Ruzek and Atwater following. The ambulance went flying down the streets of Chicago headed toward the hospital.

Erin was clutching Jays cataleptic hand as they wheeled him into the hospital. The paramedics were spitting out medical jargon to the emergency doctor and Erin found it hard to let go of him, as they tried to move him from the stretcher to a bed in the Emergency Room, struggling to move around her and hook him up to all the monitors, Antonio had to pry her away from her partners side "Lindsay, come on, let's go. Let the doctors do their thing." They were walking past the curtain when she turned back around, and went back to his side.

His blood still coating her hand and face, a tear slipping down her cheek she leaned in and whispered in his ear "You cannot leave me without our one day." She kissed his forehead and walked back through the curtain down the hallway.

An hour later the on-call Emergency Doctor Caehill, had informed them that he had an depressed skull fracture, a bullet in his liver, a few cracked ribs and a sprained right ankle, along with minor cuts and bruises. "We're taking him up to surgery to relieve the pressure on his brain, and remove the bullet, his odds are great, but the risk is always there."

Everyone let out a sigh of relief. "When can we see him?" Voight asked.

"Well, the surgery will take about three hours give or take, as it is all up to the patient. He will be in recovery for a few hours there after so I would say come back later today." The doctor grabbed his clipboard and walked down the hall.

"Erin, why don't you go get cleaned up?" Voight asked as he walked over to her. "No, thanks I am good right here." Erin said not missing a beat. "Erin, you are covered in his blood, now, I don't know about you, but I would rather still not be covered in my partner's blood when he wakes up from all this..." Knowing that what Hank was saying was true she quietly agreed and made her way down the hallway.

She pushed the door opened, not bothering to lock it behind her, walked over to the sink, afraid to look in the mirror, she tried her best to keep her eyes down, knowing that if she looked at the person staring back at her, the tears would fall. She grasped the sink, looking at her hands caked in blood. His blood. Jay. '_Dam it! That should have been me!_ She thought to herself as she punched the paper towel dispenser. Tears absentmindedly, starting to fall from the pain of hitting the metal, she subconsciously walked over to the sink and looked in the mirror. Erin began to study herself, his dried smeared bloody handprint on her left cheek, her mascara smeared from tears, loose blonde curls flying in every direction '_I look like crap.'_ she thought, laughing to herself as she could only imagine what the other detectives thought of her. '_How much of that did they see?' _she wondered, touching her lips that had kissed her partner before he began seizing, millions of thoughts were running through her head, a thousand miles an hour.

She hoped that Voight did not see her kiss her partner, he had warned them _"You like working in this unit you keep it in your pants" Voight instructed Halstead. "I didn't know it was out.." Jay quickly retorted. "Erin is off limits. End of discussion." _Erin remembered when she found out about Voights conversation with Jay, she had to go stand up for herself, she was no longer the junkie teenager leaving behind a trail of broken hearts. _"The overprotective father thing was fine when I was a teenager, but I don't need you looking out for me anymore" she said leaning in the doorway to Voights office, walking in from the empty bullpen. "It's Halstead I am looking out for, I've seen what happens to the guys you date. You have left a string of broken hearts since you were fifteen, and I need Halstead one-hundred percent effective, not Romeo throwing pebbles at your window at three in the morning." Erin quickly rolled her eyes and retorted "You cannot tell me who I can and can't hang out with on my personal time." _Voight then said something about it was _"his unit, his rules"_ and that if she wanted to play house wife she could find another unit. She tuned most of what he was saying out, as he could not control her, but she had tried to comply with his rules.

It was hard though being around him fourteen hours a day, their desks being across from each other, looking up to find him gazing at her; his cologne lingering in her car, almost as if it is impregnated on the passenger seat; his ocean blue eyes and his husky voice, his laugh that would always make her day better, their constant banter, him constantly asking to drive, it was the little things. If anything was to happen to him, she might spiral back into her old life, he had just that kind of effect on her. He is her person.

She grabbed some paper towels and began to remove the past events of the day from her face, keeping her hopes up and even though she is not a religious person, she found herself saying a prayer for him to stay alive.

She took the hair bow she keeps around her wrist and threw her hair up into a loose ponytail, checking her face for blood one last time, she pulled herself together the best she could and walked out the door.

Erin filling drained and disheartened, joined the unit in the waiting room and sat down in a chair, staring off into space. "You guys go on home, I will stay" she heard Voight say but no one moved, without word they sat down and waited.

The next thing Erin remembered was waking up on Antonio's shoulder, she gazed across the room. Burgess was sound asleep on Ruzeks shoulder, Atwater was playing on his phone, Olinsky and Voight was nowhere to be seen.

"How long was I out?" not realizing that she had even dozed off. "You were out for a few, but you didn't miss anything." Antonio assured her.

"I need caffeine." Said Erin as she went and fixed her and Antonio a cup of coffee.

They waited for an update, they waited for what seemed like days but was only hours. Erin was becoming impatient, and began pacing. She was on her third cup of coffee and about to go to the nurse's station to shove her badge in a face, when Voight and Olinsky stepped off the elevator.

"Where have you been Voight?" she asked knowingly, knowing that he had a way of getting the information he needed, she truthfully did not care, she just wanted an update on the case.

"Don't worry about it. We got a location on the piece of trash that you guys were following the lead on. We will head out as soon as Halstead gets out of surgery."

Voight started filling them in on what was going to go down. "Alright, this warehouse has two entrances. Ruzek, you and Antonio will enter through the back. Atwater, you and me will go through the front. Burgess, I want you to call up Roman, tell him to get his arse back here, you guys will cover the alley. And Olinsky, I want you on the roof top across the way keeping an eye open for runners. Everyone clear?"

Erin was about to ask where she needed to be when Voight turned toward her "You are to stay here. You have gone through enough today and need to rest, you stay with Halstead until we get back, do I make myself clear?" Too tired to argue and wanting to be at Jay's side when he woke up she complied.

They had been anxiously waiting for several hours now, when a nurse came and updated. "Detective Jay Halsteads family?" she asked as she walked into the waiting room. The Intelligence Unit immediately stood, "We are currently trying to contact his brother, but we are his only family." Stated Voight.

"He is stable and out of surgery. He will be in recovery for another fifteen minutes and then he will be moved to the ICU where you can see him. Doctor Caehill will be with you shortly to tell you more." Feeling over-joyed as this was the best news they had heard in the past couple of days they breathed a sigh of relief and hugged.

Ten Minutes later Doctor Caehill came and told them they were able to repair the injuries to his skull, he two plates with six screws and that the bullet thought to have gone in his liver, did not pierce his liver, it only went into some muscle, though a cracked rib did puncture a lung. "Mr. Halstead is not out of the woods yet, he is able to breathe on his own but as he is still sedated, we are keeping the breathing tube in his trachea until he wakes up. I recommend he stay in the hospital for at least a week, he can return to desk work in eight weeks, moderate work in twelve weeks and he can return to full active duty in sixteen weeks, pending that no other complications arise." He then proceeded to tell them what room he is in and that they are allowed to go up and visit.

They made their way up to the thirteenth floor, to room 1321, Voight leading the way, Lindsay quick at his heels, they filled in the room. "Dang, Halstead you look like crap." Atwater said trying the lighten the mood. Jay was rough looking, heavily bandaged, his foot secured in an air cast, his head wrapped in gauze around his hair, his bed laid flat, still sedated, machines surrounding the head of his bed.

The team waited around for thirty minutes, making small talk, watching television and playing on their phones "The Doctor said it could be hours, days, maybe even a week, with this kind of injury, they just do not know, it is all up to Halstead. But we got to get going if we wanna catch this guy. Erin call me if anything changes or if you need anything, ok? We will be back eventually." said Voight. "Ok' she replied as they were walking out the door saying their goodbyes, Erin grabbed Voights arm 'and Hank, give me ten minutes alone with this guy when you get him, he messed with our family, he is not going to get away that easily." she said. "Hey' he said reassuringly "you have nothing to worry about, we are going to get them, we always do."


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey Y'all! Thank You for the reviews/faves/follows! :) It as always, is greatly appreciated! So here is Chapter Four! Enjoy! **

**And may we all survive tomorrow night's finale!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own ChicagoPD nor any of the characters... yada yada yada...**

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The Team had been gone for about thirty minutes, Jay was still comatose and Erin was not about to leave his bedside, holding his hand thumbing circles, going out of her mind being in this confined space, she hated hospitals ever since Camille had passed away years ago, she could not stand them. She needed something to take her mind off the white walls, and the world of doctors and nurses moving around rapidly, so she seeked comfort by talking to the medically unconscious Jay.

"Hey, so I know you probably cannot hear me, but I am literately sitting here going crazy. So you need to wake-up because I need someone to talk to, the team is currently cleaning up our mess, but I am here with you so please wake-up..' she said ending in almost a whisper. 'You know I never told anyone this before but, I hate hospitals, yep, cannot stand them, that's why when Jules died I.. I had to leave this place, I couldn't go through that again after seeing Camille go through it." Tears started to dwell in her eyes, as she thought about the team member they lost just two years ago. She could not face going through another tragedy. "You remember when we first began our movie nights?" she said to the unresponsive man, looking towards his monitor longing for some kind of verbal response, that the machinery would not provide, the box of technology only reassured her that he was still alive, with the mechanical yet rhythmic beeping of his heart rate, the oxygen flowing through the ventilator, forcing air into the lungs of the cataleptic body.

"Alright Halstead, if you wake-up I will let you drive." She raspily spoke with hope in her voice. She looked back and forth between the monitor and the bed, hoping for some kind of response, but it never came, and she continued to hold out hope that she would see her partners sparking ocean blue eyes soon.

* * *

_They had just finished busting a underage prostitution ring on the piers, and Erin was beyond tired, she had just gotten to her apartment and sat down with a glass of Whiskey looking at the take-out menus in her hand. 'Hmm… Chinese or Mexican?' she could not decide. She was about to give up, deciding that she was not hungry anyways, when she heard soft knocking on her door. Looking at the clock she seen it was a quarter till nine. "Voight I swear if that is you—"she stopped mid-sentence, opening the door, her heart stopped._

_"__Hey." He said, his voice a low husky tone, hands shoved in his pockets._

_"__Hey? Is something wrong? I forgot to answer my phone again didn't I? Ughh.. And here I thought we had the night off. Ok, um listen give me a second to get changed and we will leave." _

_"__Woah. Lindsay. Slow down, there is no case." _

_"__There's not? Ok, then what are you doing here Halstead?" Erin stated firmly to her partner, who stood in her doorway. He wore a black Blackhawks hoodie, and a dark pair of blue jeans, his hair parted and gelled back._

_"__Well, it's been a rough week, and I thought that maybe you would like some food." He said reaching down to grab the bag of food off the floor, from beside her door._

_"__Oh, ok. Well I will defiantly not turn down free food." Erin replied as she opened up the door further to allow her guest in._

_As Jay walked in he could not help but admire his partner 'Even after an exhausting week like this she is still gorgeous.' He thought. She was wearing a flowy grey top that fit in all the right places, and black yoga pants, her hair in a messy bun._

_"__Of course you don't! I know you too well, I am your partner after all… speaking of which I did remember to get the enchiladas this time."_

_"__Yes! Gimme I am starving!" Erin said grabbing the food out of her partners' hands, she walked over to the couch._

_"__I see you were starting your night off well. So would you rather finish your bottle of Whiskey or do you wanna share this six-pack?" he asked holding up the case of brew. _

_"__As much as I love Whiskey, I will not turn down my favorite beer," she said reaching for the bottle he was handing her "I was fixing to start a movie but had a hard time deciding, which one?" she asked him, handing him the two movies in her hand._

_"__Why not both? We don't have to work tomorrow. So lets start with 'Identity Theif' and finish with…really?" he said turning to Erin._

_"__What?! It's a Classic! Plus I haven't watched it in forever!" she held her ground._

_"__No' he said laughing 'Nothing is wrong with it. It's just this movie is one of my favorites, actually." _

_"__Wow, Halstead. I never knew you to be a classics guy."_

_"__There is a lot you don't know about me." He stated, tension filling the air. "as there is I do not know about you."_

_"__Fine, how about we play twenty questions next Friday then Halstead?"_

_"__Fine, it's a date."_

_"__Woah, woah woah. It is not a technically a date. It is just two partners hanging out."_

_"__Okay Lindsay, whatever you say." He said chuckling as he put the first movie in._

_They sit there eating, watching the movie, laughing hysterically, enjoying each other's presence. _

_As the credits roll, Erin cleaned up dinner and Jay throws in the next movie._

_"__It kills me at how old the technology is and the tactics they use are old-hollywood, but Bruce Willis.. He makes the movie. One of my favorite quotes is.. ahh who am I kidding, there are too many good quotes! I mean it's freaking 'Die Hard'!" Jay said amusingly falling into the couch._

_Erin could not help but laugh at Jays antics as she sat back down handing him another beer. "See! This. This is why we make a great team!" _

_They sat there completely engrossed into the high action packed filmed, and before Jay knew it Erin was snuggled into his chest, he threw his arm around her shoulder, as if this was completely normal for them. 'I could get used to this.' Jay thought as he glanced down toward his partner who was slowly drifting off into sleep, still cuddled into his chest._

_The ending credits began to roll and Erin was sound asleep, to the point of softly snoring. Jay moved out from beside her and picked her up into his arms, carrying her towards her bedroom, Erin began to stir, wrapping her arms around his neck and nuzzling her head against his chest. He gently laid her down on the king sized bed, covering her up, he was tempted to kiss her forehead but ultimately he decided to walk away, stealing a glance of her as he walked towards the bedroom door._

_"__Jay?" he jumped at the sound of her voice in the silence of the apartment. 'Did she just call me Jay?' he thought knowing she always called him by his last name._

_"__Yeah Erin? I was just leaving, you fell asleep during the movie." He explained._

_"__Co.. Could you stay? Please?"_

_If the room was not as dark as the midnight sky Erin could have seen the quizzical look he had on his face._

_"__Umm.. Yeah Er, that's uh not a problem. I will be right out here ok?" he said pointing towards the living room._

_Erin somewhat sleepily thanked him and he returned to the spot that he was in minutes before. 'Thank God this reclines.' He thought to himself leaning back in the reclining sofa. Jay laid there reflecting on the earlier events of the night and the previous minutes, he began to reflect on the past four months of him being partnered with Erin, and he began to realize that he was falling fast and hard for his partner. He smiled at the thought and soon dozed off into a slumber._

_Jay did not know how long he had been asleep for, when suddenly he was jolted awake by a blood curling scream coming from Erins room. _

_"__NO you cannot do that! Stop! Please you're hurting me!" she yelled._

_Jay heard these words, and immediately he grasped his service weapon from off the coffee table in front of him, quietly making his way down the hall towards her room. He removed the safety from his CPD issued .40 Heckler and Koch , ready to fire at whomever was hurting the woman from behind the door, he slowly nudged the door open and scanned the room, he seen nothing but checked the closet and en-suite bathroom just in case. After quietly sweeping the layout, making sure it was intruder free he observed the woman who, over the past four months he thought was as tough as nails, tossing and turning, mumbling in her sleep, with a thick layer of sweat covering her body, wrestling her demons. _

_"__Erin." He said softly, almost as a whisper. Yet she did not wake. He walked towards her, placing his gun on her nightstand._

_"__Erin." Once again he said softly. Now that he was close enough he could see her face, he noticed silent tears streaming down her face._

_He sat down on the bed. "Erin" he said once more, shaking her._

_She finally awoke. Dazed at first Erin did not remember who was in front of her, she then remembered as his hand was clutching hers, setting her skin ablaze. _

_"__Hey, are you ok?" he asked overly concerned, his thumb running over her knuckles._

_"__Truthfully? No, I'm not." She stated wiping the tears from her eyes._

_"__Wanna talk about it?" he asked, knowing the answer, but he wanted her to know that he was there for her._

_"__Maybe One Day." She told him, knowing he knew some of her past, but not the worst of it._

_"__Well, if there is anything you ever need, always remember I will be here for you. Always."_

_"__Co.. Could you do me one favor?" she asked, still recovering from the previous events._

_"__Shoot." He responded, his hand still holding hers._

_"__Hold me." She asked moving over to the other side of the bed, a look of fear in her eyes._

_He thought for a second about how 'professional' this was, but she was petrified right now and needed someone, he smiled and moved his body into the bed, turning towards Erin, she moved towards him, where he wrapped his arms around her, giving her a sense of comfort. "Thank You." She said smiling into his chest, giving it a kiss. "Always." He said placing a kiss in her hair. No more than ten minutes later, he felt Erin relax, and knew she was asleep. He knew he should go back to the recliner, as they had just crossed the invisible line, but he too found himself relaxing and found his eyelids getting heavier._

* * *

_Jay found himself in a sleepily dazed state as he stirred from his slumber. 'Ughh, it's too bright out.' He thought to himself as he slowly opened his eyes. _

_His eyes were adjusting to the light, and he began to panic, noticing that he was defiantly not in his own bed, this one was way too soft, and to his knowledge his room never had a beam that held up a ceiling fan. He was about to sit up when he felt a head resting in his shoulder. And he remembered. _

_He remembered her soft cries and whimpers, as she came face to face with her past in her slumber. How she called out for him to stay. How when she fell asleep in his arms, curled into his chest, they fit perfectly. How she had a peace of mind and was able to sleep soundly the rest of the night. _

_He laid there soaking up the moment for a while, taking notice of the little things, like her snoring, her slight case of bedhead and the way her body perfectly molded with his. _

_Eventually his arm began to argue, becoming numb and he carefully moved his body out from underneath hers, hoping not to wake her, he succeeded._

_'__Do I stay or do I go?' he argued with himself mentally, walking out of the bedroom._

* * *

_Erin awoke to the sound of her alarm clock annoyingly beeping. _

_'__Ugh! Seriously.' she thought, rolling over in her bed, slapping the alarm clock she forgot to turn off. 'Are you kidding me? Voight gave us the day off and I forgot to turn off my alarm?' she mentally kicking herself._

_She threw the comforter off her body and had tossed her legs over the edge, when she heard clatter coming from her kitchen. 'What the-?' ran through her mind as she slid across her room, to the first weapon she could easily get her hands on, grabbing the baseball bat from beside her dresser, as most her firearms were secured in the safe._

_She opened the cracked door surreptitiously and made her way into the hall, placing her back up against the wall. Her heart was beating rapidly, she was surprised the intruder could not hear it. 'They choose the wrong person to mess with.' She made her way down the hall, holding the bat securely in both hands over her right shoulder, ready to attack whomever was 'robbing' her apartment. _

_She rounded the corner, equipped to attack, she began to swing the bat at the person rummaging through her kitchen cabinets, when she stopped mid-swing. _

_"__HALSTEAD!?" she yelped in surprise. _

_"__WHOA. ERIN." He said throwing his hands up in the air, surrendering, dropping the half-filled coffee cup he was holding._

_"__I almost killed you! I thought you had left, which clearly you did not." She told him putting the bat down, her voice as well as her heart rate returning to normal._

_"__Yeah, well thank you for not killing me.. With a bat? Really?" he laughed._

_"__I didn't want to mess with having to open the gun safe and my duty weapon is out here so, yeah, a bat. Plus, I did not want to have to fill out an incident report." She said smirking._

_"__Nice to see what your priorities are Lindsay…" Jay bantered back, cleaning up the mess he had just made._

_"__Well, I, Erin Lindsay, did not kill you, in the kitchen with a bat. So, where did you get breakfast?"_

_"__I made it actually. I woke-up about two hours ago, wanted something to eat, and all you have in your fridge is a pyramid of take-out, some moldy bacon, and questionable eggs; so I ran to the store down the street and picked up a few things. Now the menu' he said seating her at the bar, before turning around heading back towards the kitchen 'consists of Fried Eggs, Bacon, Toast, with coffee to drink, because lord knows not to be around Erin Lindsay when she has not had her caffeine." He told her, grabbing their plates and drinks, sitting them at the bar, before grabbing a seat next to her._

_"__Hey now! That was once, thank you very much." She retorted to his last comment, taking a sip of the strong liquid. _

_The two sat there enjoying each other's company._

_"__Well who knew Halstead that you could cook." _

_"__Thanks, I will take that as a compliment." _

_After a few minutes Jay felt the need to clear the air. "Listen, about last night. I just –"she cut him off. "No Jay, that was wrong of me, I should have never had asked you to stay or anything, I crossed the line."_

_"__Erin, I was going to say, that if you every need anything, day, night, or 3 a.m. I will always be here for you. You went through some ghastly things in your past, and come one day when you're ready, you will tell me. Come hell or high water I will always be your backup." He said nonchalantly, smiling, caressing her hand._

He was right, she did eventually open up to him slowly but surely about her past, he had slowly been breaking down the walls that she had put up so many years earlier, telling him things that only Voight knew.

Erin could not help but laugh to herself as she reflected on the past, and how far they had come since then, not just in their partnership but in their friendship as well.

She sat there in the chair next to him, hand in hand and began to doze off, hoping that he would soon wake up.

She woke up a few hours later, her head laying on the edge of his bed, her hand still in his, looking up at the clock she seen it was a quarter till six, she knew the doctors would be making their rounds soon, and began hoping for some good news. She kissed the knuckles of his fingers and leaned back into her chair.

"Glad to see that someone is awake."

She jumped and turned around after discovering that she was not alone.

"Will, nice of you to show up." Erin told the man lounging in the window.

"Yeah well, I am not the one that decided to get a traumatic brain injury, a bullet to the abdomen, and puncture a lung, while his brother was on vacation in Bermuda. A man can only make it back so fast."

"Glad that they filled you in."

"Well, being a Trauma Surgeon in the ER at this very hospital, has its advantages, they tell me everything." He said laughing slightly.

They sat there in silence, until Erin could not stand it any longer.

"Will? Why hasn't he woken up yet? They said it would only be a few hours and that was almost nine hours ago.." she questioned.

"They said he _could_ wake up in a few hours Erin. I have seen cases where the patients do not wake up for days sometimes a week, it all depends on the injuries and the patient, and knowing my stubborn hard headed brother, it could be a few days. It was the last time…" he informed her.

"Last Time?! What do you mean last time?!" This was news to her.

"Um, when he was injured in Afghanistan? And let me guess… he's never told you..." Will said judging by the reaction on Erin's face.

"Defiantly not."

"Well, I don't think it is my place to tell you, if he hasn't yet so I will let him do that.. How about you, Erin, tell me how this happened to my brother?" he told her, walking across the room to the chair opposite of Erin.

"Well… I..Umm.." she stumbled. '_First of all,_ _that should be me on this bed, instead of your brother.'_ She thought, slightly rolling her eyes, sighing.

After about ten minutes, she was fed-up with herself and found the courage to speak up. "Well I guess I will start from the beginning, it all started last week…"


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey y'all! New week means New chapter! This chapter is about the case, and it wraps back to chapter 2. Gonna be honest, I had writers block this chapter as I was not really sure where to take it, but I feel confident in the direction I got it going and I have chapter 6 planned out, so Enjoy! :)**

**Disclaimer: As Always, I do not own the rights to Chicago PD nor the Characters...**

* * *

The Case.

A new week means a new case on their desks. A few gang members of the MS13s had ended up dead in Bedford Park and they were thinking it was drug related. "Alright so we have three dead, loaded automatics on two of the three, with time of death somewhere around two a.m. We have yet to get the results back on the substance found on victim number twos hand, but my guess is crack. Did we get anywhere on the surveillance tapes we were able to find?"

"We were able to find a few cameras and found a black 2013 Escalade with stolen plates, and a red 2003 Mazda running a red-light around the time of death, so take your pick." reported Antonio.

"My bet is on the Escalade." joked Jay.

"I will take you up on that bet, and bet on the Mazda." stated Atwater.

"Deal. Loser has to buy dinner for the unit."

"Deal."

"All right boys, now if we can get back to business..." Erin said annoyingly.

"Lindsay and Halstead, since Jay here has his hopes up for the Escalade, you guys get to follow that lead, and Atwater, you and Ruzek, track the Mazda. Antonio I want you to follow up with trace and ballistics. Keep me updated." Voight firmly stated before returning to his office, Olinsky following.

They watched the surveillance tape of the Escalade and finally had enough to create a profile to run through the NCIC database. Though the Escalade had stolen plates, they had enough to run a generic profile of the vehicle, the illegally tinted windows and tricked out rims, along with the large dent in the back made it easy. Meanwhile, Ruzek and Atwater were able to get a possible location on the Mazda and had just left to investigate.

Two hours later Ruzek and Atwater had returned from attempting to track down the Mazda and came upon a dead end. Whereas the lead on the Escalade was going nowhere.

"Alright.' Voight stated walking into the bull-pen clearly fed-up, 'I want everyone to get in contact with their CIs, somebody somewhere has to know or have seen something."

They all hit the phones and they were all coming up empty, nobody knew anything, or rather, nobody wanted to get caught in the middle of a possible in-house gang war. They were all about to face Voights wrath when, Erin suddenly stood up from her chair, phone still attached to her ear.

* * *

I was just about to give up, like all the boys had. This girl was my last hope, as I had reached the last name on my list. I dialed the seven digits, keeping my fingers crossed.

"Thank you for calling Mathis Meadows Rehab Facility, this is Alisha, how may I help you?"

"Alisha, this is Detective Erin Lindsay from the twenty-first precinct of the Chicago Police Department. I was wondering if the patient in room 951 is able to receive phone calls today."

"Um Yes, Just a moment detective… I see you are on her allowed calls and visitors list, let me forward you now."

"Thank You." After a few minutes, I hear her voice on the other end.

"Lindsay! You just seen me last night, you couldn't stay away could you?" the mystery woman said laughing into the phone.

"Nadia, how'd you know it was me?"

"You are the only person I have right now Erin and the practically the only person that knows I'm here. So I was going to wait to tell you but now seems as good as any.. I complete the program in two weeks!"

"Awesome Nadia! You are staying with me again correct?"

"Yes, if that will not be a problem? Now, I know that you did not call me to talk so whats up?"

"It's no Problem. But I actually called you because I need your help."

"Anything, it is the least I can do."

"Ok, there was a gang-shooting and drug deal gone bad dealing with the MS13s in Beadford Park last night. There was a Black Escalade and a Red Mazda seen leaving near the scene, I know you used to work around these guys, does either vehicle sound familiar?"

"The Black Escalade could be Dwayne Mannings, he was one of my regulars, deals out towards the East Side. He was always sketchy, but provided me with the crank and cash."

"Nadia, you are the best, I owe you."

"I will take my payment in the form of take-out, the food here horrible. Just be careful, some of his guys gave me the creeps and he always went on and on about his firearms."

"Thanks, but I have some pretty awesome back-up. I will see you soon." I told her as I smiled, hanging up the phone.

"Alright guys, you all remember Nadia…' I ask looking over towards Ruzek.

"Yes, when someone tries to make sure you never have children, one can never forget." Adam quickly retorted.

We blow off Adams remark with a laugh, who could forget the woman kicked him in the family jewels. "Anyways, Nadia might have a lead for us, she says that one of her former clients that's in the MS13s drives a black Escalade, a one Dwayne Manning."

"Got it, Dwayne Manning, twenty-six, occupation of drug dealer, has been getting arrested since he was thirteen and has a rap sheet longer than my arm, arrests are everything from drug possession to illegal firearm possession to attempted murder. I got an address." reports Halstead.

"Good. Let's suit up, roll out in fifteen; Lindsay, Halstead I want you guys to pose as a potential buyers" Voight stated.

* * *

Thirty minutes later Erin and Jay were standing on the steps of the drug dealers' house, posing as buyers.

"Alright I am going to go over this again, I want Ruzek and Atwater to cover the back, Antonio, Al and I will cover Halstead and Lindsay. Once they have made the deal and Erin gives us the signal, then we breech." Voight directed.

"Hey! James, you in there? Hey man open up!" Halstead yelled banging on the door with Lindsay, clutching onto his arm.

The door slowly opened, just enough so the person inside could see who was causing all the noise outside.

"Yo Man! Quite down out there, stop banging on my door. There ain't no James here." Their suspect said.

"Oh well, I'm a friend of Tiny and he said to come here and James could hook me up, see, my girl here is going to rehab tomorrow, and we would like to spend our last day together in the best possible way, if you know what I mean…" Jay told the suspect, pulling a few twenties out of his pocket.

"Yeah, well sorry bout that, but there ain't no James and I ain't got nothin like that around here so you best be on y'alls way." the man slurred.

"Yeah? Man have you ever been to rehab? Do you know what it is like in there? Please, help a brother out." pleaded Jay.

"Listen.' The man said reaching into his pocket. 'This all I got, if that's all yuns got." As Dwayne pulled the plastic bag out filled with cocaine.

"If it works for my girl, it works for me." Halstead told their suspect as they exchanged the products. Lindsay did not see any viable threats and gave to signal to breach.

From around the corner of the street, an alley, came Voight, Dawson, and Olinsky, arresting the suspect, Dwayne Manning as well as Jay and Erin, so they could preserve undercover status if needed in the future. Around back Ruzek had one in cuffs, and Atwater was doing a yard chase with another. Eventually placing them all in the back of cars and transporting back to the twenty-one. Jay and Erin were transported around the block and brought back, helping in assessing the house.

"Hey! Voight, you might want to see this!" Jay yelled from outside.

As the team walked outside and over to the garage, they found the cocaine cutting operation, along with a few stolen plates, and an arsenal of weapons.

"Well, Nadia was right, we just hit the motherlode…"

"Alright, something bigger might be going on here, so let's pack up shop and sit on the house for a while. I want Antonio and Atwater to pick up first shift, Al and I are going to head back to the twenty one and see if we can't get there morons to talk. Jay, Erin and Ruzek, you guys head back and start the paperwork. I want Erin and Jay to pick up the Midnight shift, Ruzek and Olinsky you are morning shift, if you had any plans cancel them, it is going to be a long weekend."

Jay and Erin were making their way down the streets of Chicago, heading to start the mounds of paperwork that had been placed in their laps, before going on stakeout.

"So I guess so much for movie night, huh?" Jay stated disappointingly.

"Yeah, and I was looking forward to it too. But I guess a stakeout can be fun too."

"Well I guess we can always do pizza, beer and a movie once this case gets wrapped."

"Yeah, or, we could go to that new restaurant down on 47th and then go to the shooting range?"

"Erin Lindsay, Are you asking me out on a date?" Jay asked, stepping out of the car.

"What? What are you talking about Halstead? I mean we hang-out practically every Friday night, I just thought I would change it up a bit." She said smiling, biting her lip.

"Change is good Lindsay." He said with a glimmer in his eyes, unlocking the entrance to Intelligence.

"So is that a yes?"

"Is what a yes?" Ruzek interrupted.

"Oh, Jay here said he wanted to buy drinks at Mollys after we wrap the case, and I was just confirming" Erin told her fellow detective, sitting down at her desk, coming up with the best lie that she could think of on the spot.

"Oh really? Well then isn't he just generous? Drinks should actually be on me,' Adam stated clearing his throat, running a hand over his face 'I was going to wait and tell everyone at once as we had agreed, but, me and Burgess are engaged." He said flatly, unable to contain the vast smile on his face.

"Really, Again? Just Kidding. Congrats Brother!" Jay told him shaking his hand.

"Well, umm I guess Kim forgot to tell you, she told me last week, when she asked me to be a bridesmaid." Erin laughed nervously.

"Well, I cannot blame her for telling, I mean look at me." Ruzek said walking in a runway fashion.

"Ok Ruzek, as much as we love you, I want to at least get some of this paperwork started before we all have to be sitting in a car for almost ten hours." Erin reminded starting the stack to her left, completely ignoring the mountain of papers to her right.

As the hours passed, Voight and Olinsky were still interrogating the suspect Dwayne Manning, Ruzek was passed out at his desk, and Erin and Jay had been completely immersed in the paperwork, attempting to get as much of it done as possible before they had to leave the precinct at eleven. Erin was finally able to see the wood that made the top of her desk and filled her last sheet of paper, she glanced over towards her partner who sat across from her and seen that he too was almost done.

"Alright, I think that I have looked at enough paperwork to make my eyes bleed." Jay said looking up.

"You and me both. You ready to get out of here? I have already gotten twenty texts from Antonio asking if we were planning on showing up anytime soon, something about Atwater has not stopped singing Taylor Swift."

"Sure, spending ten hours in the car with you? Who could say no to that?" Jay said unable to control his grin.

They arrived to the location of the stakeout, back to the scene that they had left just mere hours before.

"So you never gave me an answer to my question earlier."

"Really Lindsay? You choose now to finish our conversation?" Jay laughed.

"Well yeah, we are going to be sitting here for a while and I just wanted to continue our conversation before we were interrupted."

"Ok then, Yes, I love the idea of a restaurant and the gun range, just simply because I can prove I have a better shot than you as always."

"See? Now, was that that hard?"

They sat there holding normal conversation and banter for hours, until there appeared a vehicle approach the house they were sitting on and parked itself in the garage.

"Ok, well you could say that that was defiantly not normal for 4:23 in the morning.." Jay stating the obvious.

"Well, let's wait a few and see what's up, before we jump to any more conclusions."

They were keeping an eye on the house, which the suspect had gone into minutes before.

"Maybe the guy is just —"Jay was saying before being interrupted by a series of gunfire coming from the house. "Or not, I thought the house was clear!" He finished saying, jumping out of the car, cautiously running towards the barrage of bullets.

"You and me both Halstead!" Erin agreed, just behind him.

They ran towards the house, where the gunfire had since stopped, approaching cautiously as they had no time to get their Kevlar vests on.

They reached the front door. And Jay nodded and mouthed "On three. One. Two Three." And they simultaneously kicked down the door. "CHICAGO POLICE. SHOW ME YOUR HANDS." Was said as they cleared the living room, having no response. There was a silent agreement, for Erin to clear the left side of the house, the kitchen, carport, the little odds and ends; while Jay cleared the right side of the house, the den, dining room, bedrooms and bathrooms.

Erin was clearing the last room on her side of the house when she heard something fall, and then she heard the un-mistakable sound. Her stomach dropped, her throat went dry, she just knew.

"Jay?" she yelled from the other end of the house.

"Jay." She said again, making her way back through the house. "Halstead?!"

Hearing no response, she continued making her way down the hallway, gun drawn, towards the last known location of her partner.

"Lady, don't you dare think about coming closer, or I will put a bullet in your boy's brain here. Now I suggest you turn drop your gun."

She looked towards her partner, who seemed unconscious, on his knees in a headlock of his captor, a .9mm gun pointed to his head, blood slowly staining the maple-colored hardwood floors below him.

"No. Not until you let him go." Erin said holding her ground, gun raised.

"Fine, have it your way." The man said, quickly dragging Jay into the room to his right, shutting and locking the door.

'No. No. No. No. Shit.' Ran through Erin's head as she ran towards the door, attempting to kick it down. After her sixth attempt Erin decided the door was not about to budge, she took the gun in her hand and stood back from the door. 'So Much for plan A. Let go for plan B.'

She fired her weapon at the handle of the wooden door, and kicked. Nothing. "Oh come on!" she thought out loud, running back through the house towards the front, making her way out and around back.

* * *

I had just cleared the second of three bedrooms of the house we had been sitting on. Erin was on the other end of the house. I was about to clear the last bedroom when I noticed the body lying on the floor, blood coming out of the bullet wound to the head, but per protocols I still had to check for a pulse, I crouch down, placing two fingers up against the carotid artery. Nothing.

"Don't Move.' I hear a coarse voice say from behind. 'Now I suggest you place that gun on the ground."

I do as the man says, placing my Heckler and Koch where I can have quick access to it. I act like I am about to stand up and turn around, my plan of action is far better, or so it seemed in my head. I hastily turn around in the crouched position, bringing my right foot out in the process, making contact with the mystery mans knee, bringing him to the ground, but not before he can fire a round into my abdomen.

I lay there in a state of shock, I did not see that coming, but I guess that was stupidity on my part, I did not know that the man had a gun, everything I did, I did blind, I did what I was trained. I was about to get up, attempt to make my way to Erin, who I could faintly hear saying my name, but as I got to my knees, I feel the butt of a gun make harsh contact with my skull sending me into the land of unconsciousness.

I am not sure how long I was out, but I somehow ended up in a chair in the room across the hall, I can hear Lindsay attempting to kick the door down, I want to tell her it was useless, the door was blocked by a bookcase, but there is something in my mouth, my wrist are bound together in front of me. My abdomen is bleeding. I hear Lindsay fire her gun, and then her chastising the door for not sub coming to her attempts, I cannot help but mentally laugh, _'That's my girl.'_ The mystery man was now on the phone on the opposite side. I attempted to hear what he was saying but unfortunately I do not know Russian. Is it even Russian? Most foreign languages and I do not get along. The man hangs up the phone, turning around, noticing me staring at him.

"Well look, Mr. Pretty-boy is awake again I see, good." He said with a malevolent grin.

* * *

Erin rounded the bend of the house and into an alley, bringing her gun to eye level once again, unsure of what could be lurking in the dark. She mentally lays out the house plans, and comes to the corner of the house that Jay should be in, there are four windows for the room, she chooses one and hopes that Jay will see her. She grabs a milk crate from the alley and stands on it to look through.

"I mean, y'all ruined our hopes of retrieving it earlier, and so we had to come back when we thought the coast was clear. And then when we got in here Isaac decided he was going to off me and keep it for himself, but you see, the boss don't play that way, so I had to get rid of him first." The man said walking back and forth.

Luckily for her the mystery man had his back to her, but Jay was aware of his partner's presence, if they wanted to do this, they needed to do it quick.

Jay motions his eyes towards, the closest window.

'What? No!' Erin thinks shaking her head. 'Are you crazy?!'

Jay nodded his head again. He had to get out of this somehow, and it seemed as though the window was his only option.

It all happened so fast, Jay took his left foot and kicked the man backwards as hard as he could, 'well, good to know boxing has paid off.' He thought. The man, quickly fell backwards, which gave Jay enough time to jump out the window and onto the pavement, causing him to injure his right foot.

"Crap you idiot! Are you ok?" Erin said running over to him as he quickly stood up.

"Yeah, let's just get out of here. NOW." Jay voiced noticing the very angry foreign Russian was coming at them very quickly.

"Go, I've got this." Erin told him.

"No, I am not leaving you without back-up."

"Go! I am quicker than you right now, and I am the one with a gun. GO." Erin forced.

Jay reluctantly hobbled away as fast as he could. Having Erin right behind him.

"It seems as though our mystery man has suddenly vanished, so lets get out of here." Erin shakily said, as she helped Jay.

As they were crossing the street, a pair of headlights came charging towards them, Lindsay without hesitation unclipped her gun out of her holster and brought it to eye level for what seemed like was the hundredth time that day. She waited until the vehicle, which was continuing to barrel towards them faster, got close enough, and she did not hesitate to fire into the driver side of the SUV. She fired three shots, before she got shoved out of the way. The vehicle speeding off behind her.

Erin rapidly got to her feet, looking for her partner that had pushed her out of the way, ready to cuss him out.

"Seriously Jay! I had the guy! Let's just go before he comes back, we need to get you to the ER." Erins temper quickly went away as her focus went back to her partner, who had a bullet in him. Erin looked around, but did not see him.

"Halstead?" she started looking around when her eyes came to focus on a figure laying in the grass off the curb.

"Jay!?" she screamed, as her heart dropped, Erin Lindsay felt like her world had just fallen apart. Her best friend and partner Detective Jay Halstead had stupidly decided to become her knight in shining Kevlar.

She ran over to the curb, and fell to her knees as she checked for a pulse. 'Faint and Slow, but its there' she thought to herself.

She held her unconscious partners head in her lap, tears beginning to fall.

"No. No. No. No." she continued to say over and over. "I cannot lose you." she said stroking his cheek when she noticed him starting to squirm.

"Jay? Jay! Come on Halstead wake up!" she said gentle shaking him, when she looked down to see his ocean blue eyes staring back at her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey Y'all! So sorry for the delay, really struggling with writers block on this one... Just a heads up at some point in the story, it will wrap back to his injuries that occurred earlier in the story****.**

* * *

Darkness. It seems to have a hold of me. My body seems heavy, like a ton of bricks is on top of me, legs, arms, head, eyelids. I want to open my eyes, I want to see what is going on. I want to move, but the darkness has got a hold of me. But I can hear. There is an annoying beeping coming from my right side. There is actually a lot of noises coming from all around me. I can faintly hear disruption coming from above my head, the sound of air being displaced at 200 miles per hour. 'Ok Halstead, this is not good. Come on now wake up. Wake-up.' I think to myself. But nothing. I hear voices, "_Grab me an AED! He's crashing!" "Start Compressions!" "Push one of Epi and one of Atropine" "Everyone Stand Clear" "Start Compressions" "Clear""Start Compressions" "Any objections to calling it?" "TOD 15:42" "There was nothing more that we could do."_ My mind starts to spin around like a carousel, Where am I? What happened? Why am I not in Chicago? I start to think. The last thing I remember is… Is… Will and I were loading Micheal into a HUM-V and then I felt fire to my back. I was pulled from recalling my last memory by voices coming closer.

"So I know that he is leaving tonight in the C-17 to Germany, before being sent back to the states, but what does his outlook look like from there?" Will asked.

"Well, your brother will have to go through extensive therapy, the way it looks right now, the bullet penetrated his L2 vertebrae, and after the removal of the bullet, it caused inflammation, which has caused paralysis of his legs. There is only a ten percent chance of him regaining mobility. But when he gets to the states, and he works hard enough during the months of physical therapy, he will be able to fully move again. Is there someone to stay with him when he gets home?"

"I am leaving tonight on the C-17, they needed a doctor to supervise the patients while in transport. Thank you Dr. Hunt."

So that's what happened.. I am paralyzed. I am going home, but it is in a wheelchair. My thoughts were quickly put to rest as my body could no longer put up a fight to the sleep that was begging to take over.

The next thing I knew I was lying in a hospital bed in Germany. I slowly opened my eyes and looked around, Will was lying asleep in the sleeper sofa across the room, the sun rays were shining in from the west. I attempt to speak, but ultimately fail, my mouth feeling like it was filled with cotton, water, I need water. When I go to sit up more, my attempt fails as my legs are unable to move. 'I Can't Move. Why Can't I Move?' _Temporary Paralysis_. That's right… I reach for closest thing I can - which just so happened to be a box of tissues – and throw the box as hard as I could towards Will, hitting him in the face, which results in him jumping off the sofa like a ninja, ready to attack.

"Wow, I forgot how easily entertaining it is to wake you up." I said, unable to control my laughter.

"Geee, Thank you for waking me up from the first time I have slept in days…"

"That's what brothers are for! Could you do the paralyzed man a favor and hand me that cup of water?" asking as nonchalantly as I could.

"Why don't you get off the bed and get it yourself you lazy-" he said stopping mid-way. "Wait. How do you know you are paralyzed?" he asked concerned, handing me the cup of liquid gold.

"You can say it was some kind of freaky subconscious experience, I was awake for a few minutes when we were still in Afghanistan and heard you talking to the doctor. How long have I been out by the way?

"Yeah, no you are totally normal. You have been out of it for roughly five days, six hours, and give or take on the minutes." Will said looking at his watch.

"Oh well, when do we ship back to the states?"

"Tomorrow. And I have already got your physical therapy appointment set up with a friend, you start in three days, so rest up."

Going home was… an experience to say the least. First of all, it is really hard being handicapped in another country, but at least this time I did not have to ride in the C-17 unconsciously.

When we arrived back to the states and to Chicago, it took me a while to get used to being in a wheelchair, and it took me even longer to not want to strangle Will every time we went somewhere as he always felt the need to push my chair. Getting around our apartment turned into a big problem, which then meant that we had to rearrange everything so I could get around.

Therapy on the other hand… Therapy is a pain in the ass. For the first couple of months I was depressed, I felt anger. Anger towards myself, for allowing it to happen; Anger towards the Doctors for not being able to give me my mobility back automatically; Anger towards the therapists for not giving my movement back quicker, it had been one month and I was only beginning to regain my mobility. But most of all I felt alone. Will was working strenuous hours at his new job at Chicago Med, which left me alone most days in an silent apartment.

But then one day two months later, as I was going down the street, something caught my attention, out of the corner of my eye I noticed a few unmarked cop cars sitting in an empty street. The silence caught my attention, and me being the person that I am, went to find out what was going on. As I made my way over, I seen this older man arresting a younger man, this cop had darkness in his eyes, but a good kind of darkness, it is hard to explain. The older man, you could tell had years of experience just by looking at him, each wrinkle on his forehead had a different story to tell, his grey hair telling you of his worry, his stature telling you of his years as a cop on the beat, the limp in his walk telling of the time he got shot, his voice was gruff , he meant business.

"Well how about we take a trip down to the station? Or would you rather me send you back to your crew and you take a swim in Lake Michigan?" the man asked shoving the suspect into a car.

"Listen Voight, I don't know nothing about no girls getting kidnapped! I was at my girl's house, you can ask her!" he defended yelling in the cops face.

"Likely story. Let's go." The detective said placing the man in the car, leaving the street.

As I was heading back to the apartment, the events that had transpired got me thinking back to before I joined the Army. I wanted to become a cop. I wanted to give closure to families. I wanted to take down the bad guys and be the one that others looked up to. I can still do that. I want to become a cop. I want to give families closure. I want to take the bad guys off the streets of my city. This gave me the mindset and the courage to, keep fighting, to push forward, because if I push myself hard enough I can walk again. I can prove that I can be part of the ten percent.

I roll into the apartment and head straight towards my laptop, pulling up the Chicago Police Department webpage. This becomes my motivation. I complete the application process where it tells me I should hear something within the next two months. Two months. I have two months to improve significantly.

So I pushed myself. I worked every appointment till I was almost blue in the face. And slowly but surely I began to regain movement.

"Hey Jay, how is it going today?"

"Hey Amanda, it is going about as well since you asked the last time. I mean, how good can a person be in a wheelchair?" I joked as I rolled into the therapy room.

"Hey now, you have been improving significantly. You should be able to get around by walker here in just a few weeks."

"A few weeks? I need to be walking around in a few weeks." What does she mean a few weeks? I should be hearing from PD here in a few weeks. I cannot exactly show up to orientation in a wheelchair.

"Well, you are on the right track, and as we have told you by the end of next week you possibly will be able to use a walker some. Then in six weeks, you shouldn't even need the chair. Which means next will be getting around on a cane, and then in about two and a half months you will be able to walk. NOT run. But walk. Comprende Halstead?"

"No. I am going to be walking in three weeks. You just wait and see." She began to argue with me again but I tuned her out and got to work. On the days that I do not have therapy, I go to gym or to the hospital. And my plan of action began to work, I was soon able to get movement and by the third week I was using a walker, the fifth week a cane. The gym is my place of relaxation, to blow off some steam, workout without the 'supervision'. The hospital, is my go to place to use there rehab physical therapy room.

I got down to the therapy room, where it was empty as usual. I walk over to the treadmill, wanting to get a few laps in. And began walking, where each lap I started to push myself harder, and harder and harder, increasing the speed as I go. That was a mistake. The harder I pushed the more my lungs began to constrict. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. Was the last thing I remember before passing out, the room becoming a blur and the darkness stealing my consciousness.

"Hey Kid. You Alright? Wake up." A voice was asking me, gently slapping my face.

"Wha-? Yeah, I am fine. What happened?" I asked the vaguely familiar man standing over me.

"Looks like you pushed yourself a little too hard here and passed out, getting a nasty burn on your arm there." The man said helping me up.

"Yeah, I guess I was. Thank you by the way."

"Don't sweat, but if you don't mind me asking why are you pushing yourself so hard? I have seen you around here quite a bit."

"Um, yeah, no I don't mind. I got injured in Afghanistan four almost five months ago and recently put in my application with the Chicago Police Department. I have always wanted to be a cop and now seems as good of a time as ever." I told him, unable to wipe the grin off my face, as I told him my story hobbling down the corridor.

"Really? What's your name kid?" the gruff man asked.

"Halstead. First Sargent Jay Halstead." I replied throwing out my open hand to shake.

"Good to meet ya kid. I wish you the best of luck. Let me tell ya what, here is my card, and when you make it through the academy, give me a call." He said accepting my handshake and giving me the card, walking away.

"Um, thank you!" I shouted down the hallway before reading the card.

Detective Henry Voight. Gang Crimes Specialist. Gang Investigations Division.

Later that evening I received the letter that I had been waiting for.

_Mr. Jay Halstead, _

_The fourth police department ever created in the United States was developed in the great state of Illinois in 1851 in the city of Chicago. The Chicago Police Department is proud to announce that you have been selected to join our forces in taking a bite out of crime. Should you accept, you will be working alongside some of the finest police in the country. Orientation begins on August 8th with Academy following….._

I am going to be a cop. I start jumping around I was so excited. As I was about to begin my celebrating, Will walked through the door.

"And what exactly are we doing jumping around for?" he asked throwing his stuff down on the table.

"Break out the Beer, because guess who just got accepted to become a cop?!"

"You're kidding me right?" he asked, his voice raising.

"Well, no. I put my application in a couple of weeks ago and I just got the letter of acceptance." Man, way to burst a man's bubble.

"You got shot! And you want to be a cop? Do you not see what is wrong with this picture?" Ok Rude. Who peed in your cornflakes this morning, Mr. Ray of Sunshine?

"I got shot. I got told that I had a ten percent chance of walking again. I almost died. But I have wanted to be a cop before I joined the Army, Will. I want to help those that don't get the closure that they deserve, that we got. I want to take the bad guys off the streets, Will. So no, I do not see what is wrong with this picture."

"Fine. But don't come crying to me when something happens to you on the job."

"Awe, Come on, you know you love me!" I said walking over to give him a hug.

"That is debatable." He said sighing returning the hug.

_"Jay. Come On. I need my partner. Ok so maybe we have more than a partnership but whatever. I just want to see those gorgeous blue eyes. I want to hear your laugh. I want you complaining about not driving. I want to kiss you again. Just Wake up!"_

What the hell? What was that? Why is there a female voice invading my thoughts?

The book classes came first and by the time the strenuous activities rolled around I was able to get around with no problems. And then came the firearms part of training, and guess who aced it with flying colors? That's right this sexy bastard. I mean I was a sniper in the Army…

The day of graduation from the Academy, I kept pinching myself. I could not believe I had made it this far, looking back from High School until now and how much I have overcome. My mother's murder, joining the army, serving my country for three tours, getting shot, being told I have a ten percent chance of walking again, proving that I am part of that ten percent, applying for the academy, being accepted and now here I am graduating. I walk across the stage with no problem, no one can tell what I have been through unless they know me, unless I tell them my story.

The day after graduation I found the business card that Detective Voight had given me months prior and gave him a call.

"Voight."

"Yes Sir, this is Jay Halstead, we met a couple of months ago, you told me to call you when I graduated the academy?"

"Ahh Yes, Halstead I remember. How's the legs?"

"Great, I can run miles upon miles."

"Good, because I know this is sudden but I have a job for you. I need someone to go undercover in this construction business under this Arthur guy, and you seem the type, you in?"

I go to answer him but before I could I hear the raspy voice again, along with a familiar rhythmic beeping.

_"Ok, so you remember the time we went undercover at the sex club and you about had a coronary? I tried my hardest not to laugh at you that night. You were freaking out so badly that I had to—OH MY GOD! Did you just move your hand!?"_

I suddenly feel like I am in a heavy black cloud. Nothing to see. Nothing to hear. Just this heaviness in my whole body. So heavy that I cannot move. I can't remember how to open my eyes. Then I start to hear noises. The buzz of machines. Clicking of feet near me. Someone next to me talking, clutching my hand. I lie still. I strain to hear and makes sense of it all. No idea. And then it hits me like a ninety-mile an hour fastball. Why am I in a hospital? I struggle to open my eyes, they feel almost like bricks. Success. I am in a bright white place. Someone is bending over me. She says my name. And again. I try to remember how to talk. No words come, but I blink hard. Again she calls me. Again I try to answer.

"Where am I? Why am I here?" I hoarsely speak.

"Oh my God Halstead I knew it! I knew you were awake! Don't you dare do anything that stupid again Jay." She said slapping my shoulder and then leaning over, kissing my forehead.

"Sorry Lindsay…" I apologized, as she handed me a cup of water.

"You better be sorry! You owe me big time, do you know how many days I have been stuck in this backbreaking chair?"

"One?"

"Try Seven."

"Oh.. Well I like my beauty sleep, you should have known that since we have been partners now for what six months." I told her as I rolled my eyes.

"Six months? What? It's been two years Halstead."

"No, it hasn't the last thing that I remember is… is that the hospital was bombed, Pulpo got released and Charlie came visiting."

"Jay, that happened almost a year and a half ago."


	7. Chapter 7

**There's an update? Yes, yes there is. Thanks to all of those who have faved, followed and reviewed! And thank you for sticking with me! As always this is for entertainment purposes, so some this is not medically accurate. Anyways, Enjoy!**

* * *

"Wha- I- that's not possible."

"Do you remember how you got here?" she asked as she sat down on the bed.

"I… I remember a park, and a bet? And I think I got hit by a car, at least that's what it feels like."

"Anything else?" she asked, taking his cheek into her palm.

Jay lightly shook his head.

"Let me go get Alec and your brother..."

"My brother?" Jay asked as Erin ran out the door towards the nurses station.

"I need Doctor Whilhite and Doctor Halstead down here. NOW." Erin yelled at the nurses.

They quickly punched the keys on their phones, paging the two doctors down to the intensive care unit, no more than five minutes later both doctors came running through the double doors.

"Erin what's wrong? Is he ok? What happened?" she heard them both spit out, attempting to catch their breaths.

"He's Awake."

"Any complaints? Any pain? Wha-"

"Guys! Slow down!" she interrupted them "He's awake… he remembers something about the case we were working, but it seems as though the last year and a half is a total blur."

The two doctors shared a look and let out a sigh.

"What do you mean?"

"He thinks that the hospital just got bombed for one thing." Erin sighed as they slowly walked down the hall towards his room.

"Let's run some tests, but in all honesty it's not that unusual in cases like Jay's" Alec told her "Memory loss after a traumatic event or injury is normal, it's possible for him to not remember things that happened a year ago or things that happened yesterday, it's unlikely for him to remember very small details."

"Will he ever remember?"

"Things can come back slowly, but like I said, let's run a few tests to make sure that he isn't hemorrhaging and that everything is where it's supposed to be."

The three walked into his room, Jay sat starring at the wall in front of him, but at the sound of footsteps he turned his head the best he could without too much pain, attempting to sit up. "Will! What are you doing here?"

"I got an offer I couldn't resist to finish out my residency here, and it lets me keep an eye on my pain in the ass of a little brother."

Jay rolled his eyes "It's not that bad, can't you just load me up with some meds and send me home?"

"It's not quite that simple. Can you tell me what day it is?"

"Well according to the phone I found sitting on the table a few minutes ago it's August of 2015. Nice background by the way." Jay said looking past the two doctors towards Erin who was leant up against the wall, referencing the picture of him and her.

"Do you remember anything significant, like from work or your personal life?"

"I remember…" Jay's words drifted off.

"How about we try something simpler, can you tell me where you work?"

Jay smiled "I am a Detective with the Chicago Police Department, 21st district, Intelligence Unit. My badge number is 5-1-1-6-3. And my partner Erin Lindsay is standing over there against the wall."

"Good. Do you remember the accident that caused your injuries?"

"Well, I feel like I was hit by a bus so…"

"You were shot in the abdomen and then hit by a car."

Jay nodded his head "And I lived?"

Alec let out a light laugh "Yes, you lived. How's your pain?"

"Manageable."

"In other words, the meds are wearing off." Will acknowledged, knowing his brother all too well.

"Do you remember anything prior to waking up?" Alec asked

"I remember making some bet, us staking out a house and… that it, it's all kind of foggy." Jay told them, stifling a yawn.

"Ok, I am going to put in an order for some more pain meds, and then we are going to run a few tests, shouldn't take too long." Alec told them as he inputted some notes into his tablet, before walking out the door.

"I have a few strings I could pull with some nurses if you need anything." Will smiled.

Jay waved him off, closing his eyes. "That goes for you too Erin." Erin nodded her head and mumbled a thank you.

Erin looked around the seemingly empty room, a wave of relief washing over her, acknowledging that Jay was conscious and seemingly ok, but the biggest relief was that he's _alive_. Erin let out a sigh of relief and exhaustion, closing her eyes as she leaned back into the chair beside his bed, for what she thought was only a second. When she opened her eyes she found herself alone, the bed in front of her empty. "Jay?" she asked as panic ripped through her veins. She stood up quickly, her body retaliating at the sudden movement. "Jay?" she asked again, making her way out into the hallway. She made her way to the nurses station, finding it empty, she turned around as the double doors that led to a restricted area opened.

Jay was elevated up on the bed, his eyes glued to the ceiling as they wheeled him past. Erin smiled, releasing a sigh of relief, that he was still here, he was anything but ok, but he was alive. "Hey." She rasped as she walked alongside, her voice bringing him out of his thoughts. "Hey, have you found a new partner yet? If not, I think Burgess has been pinning after a position upstairs." he joked. Erin rolled her eyes, "No thanks, I think I'll keep the one I have." She said, lightly punching him in the shoulder as they wheeled him back into the room. The nurses hooked him back up to the monitors and re-attached his IVs before telling him where the nurses button was and walking out.

Erin couldn't help but stare him down, _how could he not remember? _She thought.

"Hey, you ok?" Jay asked, taking her hand that was sitting on the bed into his.

Erin lightly shook her head "Yeah, I'm fine. You should be worrying about yourself Jay."

"We'll get through this." He sadly smiled.

"You remember anything else?" Erin asked, changing the conversation.

"Yeah, a few bits and pieces nothing major."

"Jay I-" Erin was saying as the door opened.

"Holy Fuck." Was all the voice said.

"Mouse?"

"I'm dreaming. He's awake?" Mouse said as he moved closer towards the bed.

"He's awake." Erin confirmed, nodding her head.

"Holy shit bro, I thought you died."

"Like you're one to talk, the last time I saw you, you were living on the street, look at you, all clean shaven, and what the hell happened to your hair?" Jay joked, his eyelids growing heavy.

"The… last time you saw me? You just seen me eight days ago, at work?"

"At work? You work at the district?"

Erin saw the confusion on Mouse's face, she let out a sigh "Jay has some memory loss."

Mouse took a second to process the news, "How bad?"

"the past year… bit fuzzy." He said as he drifted back off to sleep.

Words went unspoken as they watched Jay drift off. "How about you?" Mouse asked as he settled into the window sill of the room.

"What about me?"

"Common Er, you keep saying you're fine, you're not, everytime I have stopped by you say everything is fine, you are fine, but if you looked in a mirror, even you would see you were lying."

Erin bit the inside of her cheek, knowing what Mouse had said was true. "Fine, you want to know what the fuck is wrong? My partner was kidnapped, shot, hit by a car and he almost died; pretty sure I have forgotten what the sun looks like because I haven't left the four walls of this hospital; we made a date, I kissed him and he doesn't remember; I haven't slept nor had a decent meal in eight days, that's what the fuck is wrong."

"Ok… so yes he almost died but he didn't; the sun still looks the same, it looks like how Jay looks at you; he'll remember, there's no way in hell he would forget that; and you've refused to leave the hospital, even when Voight pushed you out the door, you went to your car and sat there until you could come back in again."

"How'd you-"

"Because, I pay attention, it's part of who I am."

Erin puckered her lips, thinking over what Mouse had told her, he was right she knew, but she struggled to believe his words.

Erin grabbed her phone from the bedside, sending a short text to Voight that Jay was awake but nothing more, tell him that one of his best detectives has lost his memory is not something to do over text message. Erin got up from the chair beside Jay's bed, telling Mouse -who was falling asleep watching the Blackhawks game on the television- that she was going out to stretch her legs, Mouse waved his hand in acknowledgement. Erin made her way down to the elevators, wanting something to eat, knowing she couldn't eat right now, but her stomach had other ideas by letting out a loud rumble as the elevator doors opened.

"How is he?" a voice asked immediately, not even allowing Erin to step foot onto the elevator.

"He's uh… it's not good Hank." Erin said as she stepped onto the cart, biting her lip not letting the tears that threatened, fall.

Voight nodded his head, "Wanna talk about it?"

"Not Really. I just want something to eat right now."

Voight agreed, telling Erin how he hadn't eaten all day either as they made their way down to the cafeteria. They grabbed the food they were in the mood for, Voight paying even though Erin refused "My Treat." He told her. Erin nodded her head and grabbed them a table in the corner, next to the windows that over looked the city, Voight joined her soon after and they ate their meal in silence. Well, Voight ate while Erin picked at her plate, her appetite non-existent.

"He has no memory." Erin said quietly, staring down at her plate as she moved a vegetable around her plate.

Voight dropped his fork and swallowed the bite he had in his mouth, "How bad?"

Erin sighed, that particular question she had been asked too many times that day getting on her nerve. "Umm… the past year and a half is nothing but a haze, he says he can feel the memory but cannot process them. Alec and them ran some test…"

"What did they find?"

"Haven't heard, they brought him back and I left him with Mouse when I met you in the elevator. What if he never remembers Hank?"

Voight let out a low laugh "I don't know kid. I don't know. But you're not alone, we'll get through this." Voight told her as he reached across the table, grabbing her hand, giving it a light squeeze. "Come on, let's go see if they've got the results yet."

They made their way back up to the room, Mouse was passed out in the chair next to the bed, Jay was still sound asleep, his color better now that he had woken up.

"He looks better, compared to yesterday." Voight observed.

"Yeah, probably looks better than I do at the moment."

Mouse stirred from his seat at the voices in the room as Jay tried to turn in the bed, his injuries preventing any movements. Jay let out a yawn, "What did I miss?" he grumbled, his eyes still closed.

Erin was about to respond with a whitty remark when Will walked in with Alec.

"Full House I see, did someone forget to invite me?" Will said trying to lighten the mood in the room.

Jay drowsily opened an eye "You are banned from parties after what happened at Micheals 30th party." He laughed, not noticing the playful expression from his brother's face drop to a grim one. "You got so drunk that we had to carry you back to the bunker, but not before you ran around buck naked singing the Jonas Brothers at the top of your lungs."

"ok ok ok, in my defense that happened in 2008."

"Yeah." Jay smiled, "So, what's the verdict Doc?" he asked, his mood changing abruptly.

"Well, we thought we had it stopped and nothing to worry about but it looks like you are going to have to have another surgery, it seems as though there is a build up of blood and swelling against your skull, but we do not want to do anything until tomorrow afternoon or evening, let your body rest."

Jay nodded his head, "Ok, so what does this mean?"

"It means that your body is tired and trying to heal, so we don't want to operate until at least tomorrow night, maybe the day after."

"Ok, so does that mean that I can go home?"

Everyone looked at him with a shocked expression.

"Home?" Erin was the first to ask.

"Yeah, I hate hospitals, and it seems like I am the least of their worries so… can I go home?"

"No," Alec laughed "I'm afraid that's not possible. In your condition you need to be monitored."

"In my condition?" Jay said raising his voice "You make it sound like I have fucking cancer or I am fucking dying! Neither of which is happening to my knowledge!" he yelled.

"Jay… calm down." Erin soothed.

"I will calm down when I am out of this godforsaken place!" he yelled once again, not about to calm.

"Halstead! That's enough!" Mouse finally yelled, causing everyone in the room to jump. They looked from Mouse back to Jay, a flicker of something came across his face.

Jay let out a laugh "Yeah, I'm just messing with ya." Erin looked to Will, she forced a smile to hide the worry in her eyes.

"I think I'm gonna go." Voight said. "Halstead, I will see you tomorrow."

Jay raised his hand, giving his boss a small annoyed wave.

"Will, can I talk to you for a second?" Erin asked, motioning for Mouse to join them.

"Yeah." He said as he finished typing something in on the tablet in his hand "Jay, I want you to get some rest, I'll be back for rounds in the morning but you have- I will write my number down."

Jay rolled his eyes and let you a grumble.

"First off what the fuck is going on with him Halstead?" Erin asked as Will met them in the hall "Secondly, how the hell did you know that would calm him down?"

Both men looked at each other, before Will spoke first "I think the effects of the memory loss has somewhat effected his brain, he's confused, lost, in a daze, which I think has caused some form of PTSD to temporarily return."

"How's that possible?"

"PTSD isn't like a disease, it cannot just be treated like your common cold, it's something that you can recover from but it sticks with you. Sometimes it can come back in small ways like a sound, such as thunder or a helicopter, the loudness bringing back familiar scenarios to soldiers; other times it could be a smell or a food that triggers a memory; for everyone it's different."

"That's where me knowing how to manage Jay, and bring him down from his temper came in." Mouse said, letting out a sigh "I met Jay in a group therapy class for soldiers after he recovered from his accident. We had actually met before, been in the same unit for a brief amount of time. But that's another story for another day, Jay's case was… severe... he had the flashbacks, the bad dreams, he would smile and say everything was fine, eat when told to eat, etc. But then one night after he missed a session and in our case you never want to do that, I went by his apartment to check on him, found the door open, the place trashed, and Jay sitting in the corner, with a gun to his temple. I managed to talk him down, and took him to the VA to try and get some help, it's not as easy as it seems, but he got admitted and started to get better. But you know they saying one step forward, three steps back, with Jay it was like two steps forward, four steps back. He was on a rampage one day, and it started to get physical, he got some punches and words in but I yelled them right back before putting him in a choke hold."

"I… I had no idea…" Erin said, glancing towards Will who looked just as clueless.

"Yeah well, you know what they say, War Changes a Man." Mouse said, hanging his head.

The heavy silence among the three filled the hallway as nurses and patients filled past.

Erin let out a sigh "Mouse, would you mind staying tonight? I might need your help controlling him, since he won't listen to me."

Mouse nodded his head, willing to do anything for his best friend.

"I am going to put in an order for Ambien, it should keep him asleep for the rest of the night." Will told them

Erin and Mouse nodded their heads, thanking Will before they walked back into the small hospital room.


End file.
